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Big Pine Key Beachgoers Hit the Jackpot—17 Pounds of “Beach Weed” Washes Ashore!
BIG PINE KEY — Over the weekend, local beachgoers stumbled upon what might be the most chill shoreline discovery ever: a whopping 17 pounds of marijuana bales casually washed up on the sand. No, this wasn’t a high-budget movie prop or a misplaced shipment from Snoop Dogg — just Mother Nature’s very own (and very illegal) surprise package.
The fragrant parcels weren’t alone; they were found chilling alongside similar bales on nearby Sugarloaf Key, sparking whispers that Florida’s coastline might be turning into a secret stoner’s paradise. Locals joked that this could be the ultimate “finders keepers” moment, except with a dash of legal complexity.
Beachgoer and amateur treasure hunter, Sandy Shores (yes, that’s her real name), told reporters, “I was just looking for seashells and suddenly I found what I thought was a really large, suspiciously fragrant coconut. Then it hit me — this wasn’t your grandma’s beachcombing find.”
Local authorities have assured the public that they are investigating the incident thoroughly, though so far, no arrests have been made. Rumor has it, law enforcement officers might be enjoying a little “aroma therapy” while sorting through the evidence.
In the meantime, beachgoers are advised to keep their eyes peeled—not just for sea turtles and sunbathers, but also for any more unexpected gifts from the sea. Who knows? Maybe the next tide will bring a cooler full of snacks or even a surfboard.
One thing’s for sure: Big Pine Key’s beaches just got a little more interesting, and the phrase “surf and turf” might take on a whole new meaning.
Stay tuned for updates—because if this keeps up, Florida might just become the unofficial capital of “accidental cannabis landings.”