Marco Island Fish Wars End in Stunning Victory for LeeBe Fish, Thanks to Monumental Facebook Poll of Over 100 People

“Democracy is real, and it smells like grouper.”

Marco Island, FL — In what experts are calling “the most statistically underwhelming landslide victory in seafood history,” LeeBe Fish has officially been declared The Best Fish on Marco Island after dominating a Facebook poll that garnered the impassioned votes of just over 100 people — or as the Census Bureau calls it, “a very opinionated dinner party.”

The poll, posted in the esteemed digital halls of the Marco Island Locals Complaining About Parking and IguanasFacebook group, asked the age-old question: “Where can I get the best fish on the island?” A simple query, yes — but one that would go on to ignite heated debates, passive-aggressive emoji wars, and at least three unfriending incidents.

LeeBe Fish emerged as the clear winner, racking up a mind-blowing 47 votes, edging out rivals who could only muster such excuses as “we actually season our fish” or “we don’t post aggressively in community forums.”

The People Have Spoken (Kind Of)

“I mean, over 100 people? That’s practically the population of downtown on a Tuesday in July,” said local resident Barb Delvecchio, who has never actually eaten at LeeBe Fish but “likes their vibes.”

Poll administrator and part-time shrimp taco enthusiast Kyle R. confirmed the results in an official press release typed on Notes App and screenshotted with a dolphin emoji watermark. “Look, this wasn’t just some random thing I made up while waiting for my grouper sandwich,” Kyle said. “This is democracy in action. And I resent the implication that I was high when I wrote the poll description. I was medium at best.”

A Word from the Champions

Reached for comment, the folks at LeeBe Fish humbly responded, “We’d like to thank our loyal fans, the tireless fry cook who hasn’t blinked since Easter, and the local seagull who’s stolen more food than a raccoon with a food blog. This is a victory for fresh fish and fresh sass.”

Sources say the restaurant is considering printing the poll results on their takeout bags alongside the phrase “Voted Best Fish on Marco Island by 0.04% of the County.”

Rivals React

Other seafood spots on the island responded with grace and measured restraint, which is to say, they all posted shady memes involving undercooked tilapia and the phrase “fame doesn’t mean flavor.”

“I guess next year we’ll just bribe people with hush puppies,” muttered one anonymous competitor, sipping a piña colada and flipping off a pelican.

What’s Next?

Poll organizers are already planning next month’s civic engagement masterpiece: “Best Public Restroom on Marco Island,” followed closely by “Top Iguana That Looks Like a Former U.S. President.” Early frontrunners include “That one behind the 7-Eleven that looks like Nixon.”

In the meantime, Marco Islanders are encouraged to support local fish joints, trust the 100+ people who definitely know better than health inspectors, and remember: when it comes to seafood supremacy, nothing beats democracy, seasoning, and a fry basket full of dreams.

#LeeBeOrNotLeeBe 🐟
Because sometimes, a hundred locals on Facebook are the Supreme Court of Cod.