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What the F*** is Wrong With Publix? Florida’s Grocery Chain Says “Sure, Bring Your Glock Next to the Grapes”

What the F*** is Wrong With Publix? Florida’s Grocery Chain Says “Sure, Bring Your Glock Next to the Grapes”

In a move that has left shoppers muttering “what the actual hell,” Publix has officially decided it’s totally fine if you want to stroll down the produce aisle with a sidearm strapped to your hip like you’re Wyatt Earp shopping for cantaloupe.

Thanks to Florida’s latest tweak to gun laws, open carry of firearms is now permitted statewide. But here’s the kicker: businesses and property owners can ban guns if they want to. Publix, however, has decided that your kid’s birthday cake shopping experience will now come with the added thrill of brushing shoulders with some dude open-carrying a Glock 19 by the rotisserie chickens.

Managers at multiple Publix locations confirmed the policy: “If it’s the law, we allow it.” Translation: You want a BOGO on cereal and a side of Second Amendment cosplay? Step right up.

Critics are already asking: what the f*** is wrong with Publix? This is the same chain that won’t let you grab a sub from the deli without a shirt and shoes, but apparently an AR-15 is fair game next to the potato salad.

Some shoppers say they feel “unsafe” and “baffled” by the policy, while others are reportedly planning to shop in cowboy hats just to “complete the vibe.” Meanwhile, Publix corporate has stayed quiet, possibly because they’re too busy redesigning the cart returns into tactical staging areas.

So here we are: the Sunshine State’s grocery experience now includes fresh produce, sweet tea, and the mild anxiety of wondering if the guy in front of you in the checkout line is going to fumble his holster while paying for Lunchables.

Florida: come for the beaches, stay for the bullets by the bakery.

Marco Island News - Naples News

Est. December 26th 2024

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